More than Enough

In the quiet of the night
may I know your presence, O God.
At the ending of the day
may my soul be alive to your nearness.
Amidst the tiredness that overcomes my body
and the tensions that linger in my mind,
amidst the uncertainties and fears
that haunt me in the darkness of the night,
let me know your presence, O God,
let my soul be alive to your nearness.

It has been one of those days. For some reasons, Sunday mornings always seem especially difficult - me trying to get Grant fed and all spiffied up for church and myself as well. I could tell that my patience was running low as soon as I even woke up. Grant spilled his juice all over the floor after monkeying around and I reacted too strongly. Get to church and have a difficult conversation that stirs uncertainty in my mind about what to do. Have a luncheon after church wherein Grant throws a table decoration and hits the woman sitting across the table from me in the face. Then he runs off with his fork and digs into the bowl of pink marshmallow fluff in the buffet line. One of those days. Go home and thankfully he sleeps for 3 hours! Except when he wakes up in his crib he decides to pull off his shorts, take off his dirty diaper, and you can fill in the rest...Go to church again and have even more difficult conversations, finally come home - tired, feeling threatened, confused about why things can't be easier, put Grant to bed, light a candle, and guess what the evening prayer is? The words above. So perfectly expressed. Even in days like today, God is near, God is present. And I pray my soul is alive to that truth. That in the midst of toddler tantrums, in the often unpleasant intimacies of physically caring for another human being, in conflict with others, God is near, God is present. God is.