I Survived Cousin Camp, Barely

(disclaimer: don't take camp photos on the last day. i swear they had fun...)

Cheers - Cousin Camp 2011 is officially over! I must admit, there were a few moments I didn't know if I would make it. Not sure what made it so difficult this year. Perhaps having a 9 month old who was teething and started screaming anytime she was not attached to my hip. Perhaps the 104 degree heat. Perhaps the less than stellar preparation on Amy and I's part.

But, what do you always say about situations like this? It's all about the kids! As long as the kids have fun, that's all that counts! And, I think they did. And, one day, I hope they will talk about the days their crazy mom and crazy aunt hosted cousin camp every year.

Every year we've done different activities - I think we found some keepers that will reappear at CC 2012. Here are some of the highlights:

A scavenger hunt through the ranch. Thank goodness we have one old enough to read clues!

The cows made getting the last clue extra exciting.

$13.99 @ HEB = at least 2 hours of entertainment

We ran out of letters so the shirts just said "Camp". We are working on a budget.

Our little Pollock

Poor Sophia. She didn't even see it coming. The 80 water balloons lasted about 3 minutes. But it was a great 3 minutes. The poor dog was the target of most of them.

Not pictured: swimming at the Baylor pool (keeper); Cars 2 (just as bad as the reviews said it would be); making ice-cream in a ziploc bag (interesting); hours of playing baseball; lots of general insanity.

Of course, this year, since Cousin Camp fell on a holiday weekend, we also had to have a 4th of July parade. Baylor's homecoming parade is the largest collegiate homecoming parade in the nation. The Dorman 4th of July parade is the shortest patriotic parade in the nation. It consists of saying the pledge of allegiance and then biking up and down the driveway. But wow - the anticipation of the kids - they love our parade and are none the wiser about how actually ridiculous the entire thing is.

Miss 4th of July. The biggest bow she's ever worn and will wear for quite some time.

praying in color

Several months ago Brad ordered Praying in Color by Sybil MacBeth. He had seen it listed in the appendix of another prayer book and the title intrigued him. It's a simple book, one you can breeze through. The concept is so simple, and yet for me, it has been so life-giving. It is about how to draw your prayers.

From the book: "Maybe you hunger to know God better. Maybe you love color. Maybe you are a visual learner, a distractable or impatient soul, or a word-weary pray-er...For many of us, using only words to pray reduces God by the limits of our finite words."

After reading the book, I immediately went out and bought a new set of markers and a blank journal. The first couple of times, I felt funny, a bit clumsy, like I needed an eraser. However, once I eased into it, I found that it brought a new dimension and expression to my prayers.

It wasn't long before I realized that this concept could be very meaningful to children. So, I got a blank notebook and made it Grant's prayer book. We spent several sessions drawing together. I would guide his thoughts, he would draw, and then I would write the prayer he was expressing in his picture. We kept this up for awhile and then got out of the habit.

Strangely enough, I had been thinking just this week that we needed to resume our practice when tonight, after our bedtime prayers, he asked me, "Mommy, why can't we just show God?". I asked him to explain what he meant and he said, "Remember our books? Why can't we draw and show God?".

Here's an example - this was during a phase when he was very fearful of the dark. When I asked him what his picture meant he said he wanted God to protect him from scary things.

I share my experience because I've never seen another book like this. If you are open to new experiences and if you are looking for ways to spiritually engage your children, I highly recommend Praying in Color.

Thin Places

Love this quote. By the way, I'm sharing this picture on Brad's new blog - http://www.agenerousgrace.blogspot.com/

Taking Stock

In a reflective mood tonight. 2011 is almost half way over. How is that possible?

This has been such a strange, surreal year so far. I think back to the beginning of the year and it was filled with angst and heart-break, both mine and those around me. I grieved and fretted over the prospect of returning to work full-time after 2 1/2 years of being home.

February came and thus began so many changes. After days upon days of waking up whenever Grant wandered into my room, I began waking to a beeping alarm clock at 6:00am. I started wearing heels again and clothes that necessitated ironing. I stopped cooking as much. I started making lunches. ugh. I moved my bedtime up. I started grocery shopping on Saturday mornings with the rest of the world.

I went back to being in a different world from 8 to 5. A world of thinking strategically and directing projects. A world of deadlines and expectations and pressures. A world that does have perks. Like having an hour lunch everyday that you can spend eating with friends at your favorite restaurants or trying on clothes at the Loft or doing whatever else you want to do. A world that involves meetings at Starbucks. A world that makes you get dressed up and bring your best.

There have been so many hard days and so many easy days. It's been a wild ride. Days when I've wept bitterly at the loss of time with Grant and Lucy. Days I've felt like I'm drowning. Days I've felt completely alone, like there is not a soul who understands what I'm going through. Days I've given free reign to another voice - one that espouses a bitter resentment over unmet expectations and lost hopes.

There have been days when I've listened to and watched Grant and realized how very good Waco Montessori has been for him - how he's matured and soaked up so much knowledge - and I've admitted that he wouldn't have gotten that had he stayed home with me. Days I've cherished my husband because he is truly my teammate, and I know we are in this thing together. There have been days where I've recognized how easy it was for me to return to work, and to a job and an office that I love - and I've realized that it is a gift not to be taken lightly in this economy. Days that I've realized how much I enjoy my children now - our time together has a new dimension to it, a new preciousness.

Day by day. Up and Down. Down and Up. At the beginning of this year, I knew I was entering uncertain waters and I vowed that I would allow myself to just 'be' in the space of whatever each day brought.


I posted awhile ago about the book "One Thousand Gifts". I still believe it was divinely appointed for me to read this year of my life. I've re-read it often. It's pages have revealed a different way of seeing, a way that keeps whispering to me when I'm tempted to give up and pull the covers over my head.


In the midst of uncertain days, in the midst of both the up and the down, there are always gifts, and I can offer my gratitude. And I can enter into his presence (joy) which transcends all emotion. Each day, a choice. Some days I've made the right one, other days I've sold myself so short.

2011, so far you've been just as challenging as I thought you'd be. Here's to whatever the next half brings.

summer love

Oh to be 16 again and on summer break. I have been listening to the youth at church excitedly discuss their summer plans of sleeping late and days at the lake and late nights with friends. Pining after my own summer days gone by, I've decided to re-claim the season. I've started a running list of things I think will make these next few months special, things that will make these next few months my own summer break. Here goes:

1. Make and eat lots of popsicles. I'm buying my molds tomorrow at Bed, Bath & Beyond. My Rachel and Martha magazines have the most fabulous sounding recipes. Ones that are both nostalgic like banana fudge pops to the more exotic pomegranate lime pops.

2. Leave early with Lucy on Tue/Thu so we can be the first girls to stop by the Farmers Market. Being first means we will get the best watermelon.

3. Become a firefly whisperer. Our front yard is afire with them every evening. I'm going to let Grant stay up till after dark every couple of days so we can race around and catch them in his bug catcher.

4. Invite friends over for dinner more often.

5. Find some good novels - ones that make you stay up late in the night to finish. I got inspired thumbing through a box of novels at a garage sale this morning.

6. More bike rides. It's too hot to run and besides, biking takes me back to being 8 and growing up in Canada.

After watching the kids enjoy time together this weekend, I'm even more inspired. These pictures shout "let summer begin" to me.

lots of mud

What a memorable weekend! Several months ago my sister talked me into signing up for the Austin Muddy Buddy Race. It's a 6 mile bike/run that has obstacles interspersed and ends with a giant mud pit. Looking back I'm really glad Amy talked me into it because it made me start exercising again post-Lucy. It was a beautiful day and lots of fun. Our team name was "A Wing and a Prayer" and we finished right on goal. After our race there was a Mini Muddy Buddy race. Grant had been talking for weeks about competing in the race but he got cold feet right before it started. I talked him into competing and he was in first place until right before the finish line - that's when the realization that he was in fact in the middle of a deep mud pit sunk in and he went into total melt-down mode. He was sobbing as he got his finisher medal and continued to cry until we were able to spray off and change into clean clothes. Of course, he has a selective memory - to hear him tell the tale now he loved every minute of it!

Pre-race helmet help

I started running while Amy started biking. We switched off every mile.

At the starting line. Notice the crazy costumes like the bride in front of us. One team was dressed up as unicorns and had a huge "horn" coming off the back of their bike. It was a strange crowd...

Our finisher medals

Look closely to see Grant on the left going over the wall. He's in the blue shirt and red shorts. He is a competitor at heart. Wonder where he got that...?

Getting ready to enter the mud pit.

Jake and Amy. So proud of Jake. Unlike Grant he loved it and was so happy afterwards!

this easter

I always think that fall is my favorite season, until spring comes along, that is. I also always think Christmas is my favorite holiday until Easter comes along. This year we decided rather last minute to head to San Antonio for 2 nights before Easter Sunday. What a great idea it turned out to be. Thanks to my mom's willingness to babysit, Brad and I were able to meet up with some of our favorite friends for a lively dinner at a fabulous Mexican restaurant we had never been to before - which was another treat, getting to discover a new place!

The following day was one of those perfectly unscripted days that turns out so pleasant. Amy and the kids, my mom, Brad, Grant, Lucy and I packed a picnic lunch and headed to the park. The boys played basketball and soccer and played on the playground. Sophia lounged with the girls on the blanket. We ate good food and enjoyed the perfect weather. It was simple and that was what made it so nice. Later that day the big kids dyed Easter eggs. Wow that is a messy endeavor!

Easter Sunday was a full day. I woke up and was able to look out my window to the cemetery and see the sunrise service. When Grant woke up, I explained what was going on and we read the Easter story from the Bible. Our worship service was so full. Both Grant and Lucy came and my heart was full as I held onto my daughter and son and sang to God. There was a big egg hunt after church and then we walked home where Blake and Mallory joined us for the rest of the day. We feasted, sat on the porch, ran around outside cracking confetti eggs and enjoyed the day with each other.

gramma and lucy visiting

little girl likes picnics

girl cousins

a friendly game of hoops

oh the mess

the finished creation

grant showing lucy his bounty

happy easter 2011

One Line a Day

After reading One Thousand Gifts I was inspired to once again keep a journal. However, I knew it would be really hard to me to stay consistent with it. Then, voila! I found the One Line a Day journal at my favorite store, Paper Source. Who can be intimidated when you're only obligated to write just one sentence to summarize your day? The unique part is that this is a 5 year memory book. As you can see in the picture, you keep re-visiting the same page year after year. I keep mine on my nightstand and jot a quick note about the day or what I am grateful for - if you are looking for a new journal, give this one a try!

biscuit arms

lucy is 6 months old today. and i can't get over her arm rolls. i love her biscuit arms. i dressed her in a purple tulle-trimmed tank top today just so i could giggle at them. little girl is one chunky monkey and i love her so much...

Celebration of Life

Well, the big day finally arrived. Thank goodness. We decided to have Grant's birthday party before I went back to work, so it was held the last weekend in January while we were in San Antonio. He wanted a Baylor birthday party and it was really fun time with family. However, it turns out it's very confusing for a little boy to have a birthday party before his actual birthday. Thus, February 8 had been highly anticipated in our house, especially post-birthday party as it marked the day he would turn 4 'for real'!

The night before, we decorated his doorway with streamers and lined the hallway with balloons. The morning of, I got up early to run to Shipleys so he could have a birthday sprinkle donut. I put a candle in it and we sang happy birthday and ate donuts in bed together.

Brad and I took off work to go to his Celebration of Life (aka birthday party montessori-style) at school. I had a vague idea of what to expect, but it was so much more special than I thought it would be. They make birthday celebrations a time to teach the kids about time and seasons. The celebration begins with a special song and then a discussion about light and darkness, and how the earth revolves around the sun and how time passes. The birthday child holds a globe and walks around the sun. After each rotation, the parents talk about the child. Brad and I had made a special picture board and we got to show the pictures and talk about each year of Grant's life and what he was like at each stage. Once he had made it around 4 times, we sang happy birthday to him and then he got to blow out his candles. Then on to snack time. The birthday child is responsible for bringing snacks and drinks and is able to pick 2 friends to help pass them out. Grant had decided weeks ago that he would ask Karoline - what a big decision! His Celebration of Life was such a sweet ceremony. In fact, when the kids were singing the song I almost teared up. I liked how it made us pause and consider all the ways Grant has changed and developed over the past 4 years - life truly is an incredible miracle. And, it really honored him - I could understand why he had been looking forward to it for so long!

One Thousand Gifts

One Thousand Gifts: a dare to live fully right where you are

Ann Voskamp

www.aholyexperience.com

You must order this book today. I haven't fallen in love with a book in a long time. But, this one has captured me and I'm only a couple of chapters in. She writes with such a unique voice that is so delicately beautiful that it's almost haunting. If I had to choose a genre I would say it's poetry meets spiritual autobiography.

It's a book about journeying to a place of living with gratitude in the midst of a life that is raw and tainted with heart-break. I was stopped in my tracks last night while reading her chapter entitled "the sanctuary of time". This quote was meant for me as I begin 2011:

"I have lived the runner, panting ahead in worry, pounding back in regrets, terrified to live in the present, because here-time asks me to do the hardest of all: just open wide and receive."

I can't wait to go to book club tonight and share with them my discovery of this book so I can read it alongside others and hear how it speaks to them.

It's Back

My camera is finally back from the shop which should help my blogging hiatus! Here's what we were up to today. Pretty much like every day. Grant trying to get Lucy to laugh (despite the kind of startled look on her face she actually loves giggling for Grant and he almost has her out and out laughing), and Grant giving Norman a hard time and Norman indulging him. Not pictured: hours of me and Grant coloring together and playing with his new toys. A good day.

Yummy Recipes to Keep

I have made 2 treats this week for different events and both were new recipes. You never know with a new recipe...but these are keepers!!

Disclaimer: both are SUPER indulgent, like 4 egg yolks in one recipe indulgent...

Thankfully, I have been motivated enough to resurrect the 'driveway' workout that I did while getting ready for my wedding 8 years ago. Perhaps my workouts this week have counterbalanced at least a few bites from these treats...

Here are the links if you need something to make for the holidays:

Peppermint Cream Bars

Salted Caramel Brownie Bites

Enjoy!

All I Wanted for Christmas

I love spontaneous trips and I love that one of the things Brad and I are definitely on the same page about is the value of traveling. About a month ago we started talking about how fun it would be to play with Grant in the snow...Brad had vacation days he needed to use before 2011... and thus our trip to Colorado was hatched.

We found a house to rent up near the Durango Mountain Resort. It had everything we wanted, but was too big for our family of 4, so Brad's brother and his new fiance, Mallory, ended up coming along with us as well as my mother-in-law.

I sometimes think last minute trips are the best kind - you don't have enough time to build up unrealistic expectations. When we got back to Waco I told Brad that this trip was one of my favorite family vacations. Even with a 10 week old baby, it was all around an easy, relaxing, and fun trip.

The house was so nice that we hardly left. Each day we played in the snow, sat in the hot tub, watched movies in the 'media room' (how I would love surround sound and blue ray...), read books by the fire, and made smores. Oh, and I enjoyed the huge claw footed soaking tub. Since our water heater is going out at home and we have been boiling pots of water to take baths, a soaking tub with an endless supply of scalding water was pure bliss.

The one trip we made into town was to go to downtown Durango to ride the Polar Express. Grant is at just the right age for such an adventure and I loved watching his face. As soon as we boarded he wanted to know when the conductor was going to come and punch our tickets (just like the book). After the train ride was over, he got to go and sit on Santa's lap. He was too shy to talk to him, but listed in rapt attention as Santa encouraged him to write him a letter with his Christmas wishes.

This is one of our only 'family of 4' pictures. We make chubby babies in this family.

Blake and Mallory got engaged right before Thanksgiving. We are SO excited about having her in our family - she is so fun, smart, and inspiring. And Grant already adores her!

Grant wanted to make a snowman as soon as he woke up on the first morning. This picture was probably taken at 8 am in the morning!

After making our snowman, Grant had us hold hands in a circle and sing "Frosty". There was a brief moment of panic when we realized he was reenacting the cartoon and might think that he was going to come to life...!

Sledding = pure fun + hours of entertainment

We ate so many smores we got a stomach ache...

Polar Express tickets

Watching for Santa

Once we picked Santa up at the North Pole, he came through each car on the train and handed out 'sleigh bells'.

A change of scenery, being in the mountains, spending quality time with family, living in the moment, a long road trip - I think our trip was the best Christmas present I could get in 2010.